Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
Randomize
