I like to think it a success when the cops are called
yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left.
So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home?
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
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