I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Randomize
