Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
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