She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
Randomize
