i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Randomize
