I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
Thanks for FaceTime'ing with that ugly chick last night while me and her friend were in the other room. it's good to know I can still count on my wingman even when we're 2000 miles apart
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
i out mim tonsoeep
His wife isn’t coming to the wedding! I’ve got 48 hours to home wreck him. Gotta go, I have to shave my vajayjay and buy some really slutty underwear. Love you!
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
Randomize
