I drank too much. My snot smells like vodka when I blow my nose.
I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
Randomize
