so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
A reply to my tweet is getting more likes than mine, the disrespect is real
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