Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
Randomize
