Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
My grandmother just called to say she disowned me. Apparently I uploaded a video to Youtube of me dancing nude with a blow-up doll named Dorothy, last night. You are so fired from being damage control.
i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
I have got to lose weight!! Apparently no one wants to fuck a fat chick with herpes.
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
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