You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
If the guys trying to booty call text me could see me right now in some raggedy pajamas with toothpaste down the front of my shirt eating pepperoni out of the package they might change their minds
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
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