You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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