You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
Randomize
