I want to stick my p in your. b.
thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
The only reason I'd ever want a boyfriend is so that someone would spoon feed me applesauce when I'm so hungover I can't move
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
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