You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
It’s A Miracle These 21 Promiscuous People Don’t Have STDs
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
These 27 Infuriatingly Annoying Habits Will Ruin Your Day
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.