I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
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I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
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Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
I fucking hate you. Some slutty looking drunk chick backed her ass up across the bar and started grinding on you. You ignored her because you didn't want to share you drink
I care about my drink far more than her feelings
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...