Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
... I threw up in the shower this morning
You were "I'm not drunk" drunk.
I was feeling sad so bedroom vodka seemed like the best solution at the time.
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
I'm so stoned I just sat here for like at least 45 min thinking about how I would get some jack in the box tacos if only I knew where my wallet was and then I kind of blinked and finally noticed I had literally been staring at my wallet the ENTIRE fucking time
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.