I realized as I was wesiging my engamemby ring that you'd never love me tha same. I have life plans and Sam showed them to me
What? You're not speaking real words.
This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
I just hope the day something happens to me my phone just dies, like literally died and will never turn on ever again. I feel like God owes me that much.
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
Randomize