anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
stop calling my apartment porn island.
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
Can I come take down that wallpaper yet? I stopped seeing that dude and I need to occupy my time with something besides getting drunk at bingo night and cussing out old people. Also, i'm not sure on the legal stipulations but I might have, unintentionally, committed grand theft auto at some point.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
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