This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
last night I used snow as a chaser
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
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