You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
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