Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
So. Much. Porn.
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