So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
Someone left a shot of disaronno in a champagne glass here this morning... flip a coin?
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
By cross-referencing our messages & her Twitter feed, I've deduced that she was eating spaghetti the whole time we were sexting.
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
I just woke up to a ten minute voicemail of you sobbing about the X-Men. Stop getting drunk and watching Marvel movies.
BUT WOLVERINE IS SO TORMENTED AND JUST WANTS TO BE LOVED
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
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