Taylor Swift is so right about you.
just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
Why am I always the sober one?
Cause you're the only one with any sort of self control. It's kinda your super power...
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
Randomize
