Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
Randomize
