he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
Randomize
