I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
Why do you have to go to the hospital?
I gotta apologize to a male nurse who's tryin to press assault charges on me
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
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