Dude, no joke... I lost my wedding ring in some skank last night
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
Life without a bra equals bliss.
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
Randomize
