Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
I was told I sang Taylor Swift's entire discography in between violent bursts of green vomit before falling asleep in the bath tub
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
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