FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
I made people serenade her before talking to her and went on a condom run. If I'm going to be in the friend zone, I'm going to be its fucking king.
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
You need to be on (or possibly create) the international emoji committee to address all of these glaring oversights
I just watched an old episode of Daria while eating brownies to cure day drunkness. Clearly I'm winning at adulting today.
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
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