I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
giving a 30 min presentation still drunk is like giving birth, upside down in a pit of snakes while being on fire.
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
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