The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
Randomize
