dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
Randomize
