i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
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