1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
But theres a keg here and me gusta
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
Randomize
