wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
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