Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
We got really stoned and then we fucked. Then he made me a panini.
Oooh, he sounds pretty classy
Actually, not at all. We were stoned so he made me a peanut butter panini. With a Rollo in the middle of it. And he left the panini press on all night. I could have died.
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
Randomize
