Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
I left a care package of Jack Daniel's, pancake mix and porn in your apartment. Merry fucking Christmas.
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
I know you're on a date and I should leave you alone but about twenty minutes ago I realized I haven't been spanked in years so if you're still looking for a birthday present, you know, consider it.
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
I think it’s appropriate to celebrate the start of mother’s day at the bar with the men that almost made me a mother
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