He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
the dj asked me quote "are you sure you're sober enough to do this?" And I grabbed the mic from him and said "ill fucking show you sober- HIT IT". I also dropped the mic at the end so he had to come around and pick it up
Shania Twain would have been proud
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
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