it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
GUESS WHAT I JUST LICKED
I feel like half our conversations start this way.
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
Last time i carry you out of a forest
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
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