Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
Sex on the scooter in the parking lot wasn't the smartest idea. Actual quote from the cop as he handed me the ticket and fist bumped me.
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
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