i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
anyone who says having children is the best experience of their life obviously has never seen a vending machine carry vodka in Capri sun pouches.
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
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