Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
There's a naked man in my car right now.
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
