The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
In my defense, last night's hookup turned out to be my actual girlfriend. That's gotta count for something, right?
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
I was gonna be Romantic and write your name in emoji eggplants but A's are hard
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
Randomize
