What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
Please don't give away my fajitas
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
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