I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
21 Porn Stars Confess What Sex Is Really Like On Set
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
19 People That Found Pubes In All The Wrong Places
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am