after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
I love Texas men! TSA agent found my vibrator, nodded approvingly, and said, “You have a nice night, ma’am” with a cowboy accent. I almost made out with him on the spot
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