i jhust puked up my retainher.
Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
my mom heard me say 'don't squirt that at me' while me & him were in my room. She then decided to call my aunt and complain to her that she has the sluttiest daughter in town. she refused to believe me when i told her i was talking about gel.
I'm with your mom on this one.
haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
Randomize
