just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
At least you didn't get an invite in the mail to your fuck buddy's baby shower like I just did. My life is a sitcom
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
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