I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
My mom just drunkenly told me i was conceived in the back of a car, at a Bon Jovi concert.
Everytime she tries to call me all I can think about is when she tripped walking down my steps during her walk of shame. Then I laugh until it goes to voicemail
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
I got inside last night via doggy door
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
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