I said ACK before Andy Samberg made it even remotely funny. That tool is stealing all my lines.
Yeah, you've definitely been jizzing in your pants years before he made it socially acceptable
I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
Randomize
