I'm drive I can fine osifer
He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
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