How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
Thanks for telling my landlord that the poop stain was yours and not my secret dog.
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
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