she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
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I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
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I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
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