May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
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