Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
Randomize
