drunk at some random house party. come get me. i thought i pulled my dick out to go piss... it was my left nut. im soaked.
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
Randomize