my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
when your dumb AF ex “accidentally” venmos you $50 and texts you asking for it back..... —sorry I accidentally deleted your number and cashed out
Randomize