Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
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