Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
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