I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
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